THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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6,200: Number of cannolis (left) [SIC] sold between 6 and 11:30 a.m. at Termini Bros. Bakery's Philadelphia and New Jersey shops.
1,728: Packs of holiday ornaments sold at Ikea's Philadelphia store from 9 a.m. to noon.
600,000: Number of lighted lawn deer (such as the one above) [SIC] sold this season by Philadelphia's Brite Star Manufacturing Co.
42: Number of children in line to see Santa at 10:45 a.m. at the King of Prussia mall.
200: Number of shoppers who saw the 10 a.m. light show at Lord & Taylor in Center City.
8,600: Number of shoppers at Willow Grove Park mall from 6 to 11 a.m. Among the busiest stores: Macy's, Sears, Abercrombie & Fitch, American Eagle Outfitters and Foot Locker.
5: Number of minutes it took to find a parking place at 9:12 a.m. at King of Prussia.
200: Number of steps from that parking space to the Lord & Taylor entrance.
2,700: Number of people in line at Best Buy's Mount Laurel store at 4 a.m., waiting for the 5 a.m. opening.
$21,000: Price of the most expensive item sold by 12:15 p.m at Tiffany & Co. on Walnut Street, a 1.75-carat diamond engagement ring for a 10-year wedding anniversary gift.
94: Number of people sipping tea at Center City's Four Seasons during Teatime in Wonderland, from 3 to 4:30 p.m.
$3,000: Amount Peggy Kelly of Cinnaminson plans to spend on Christmas gifts this year (up from $2,000 last year).
403: Number of hours Cherry Hill Mall will be open from Black Friday through Christmas Eve.
54: Number of extra people working at Boscov's at Plymouth Meeting Mall.
155,000: Number of items sold on QVC from 12:01 a.m. Thursday to noon Friday. Most popular item: plastic "puzzle boxes" that hold gift cards.
14: Number of river rocks painted with inspirational words such as love and peace that sold from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at Ten Thousand Villages in Chestnut Hill.
22: Temperature at 3:25 a.m. yesterday as shoppers awaited the 5 a.m. opening of the Wal-Mart in Lumberton.
Why report the news when you can engage your readers in a game of Trivial Pursuit?
P. S. Judging from this story we can assume most downtowns were empty yesterday.