THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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P. S. Last January we gave a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK award to some freelancing toady for his cloying PAPER OF RE-CORD press release about how Arthur Freed was producing some cutesy pie movie about nudity. Well, the WHINER BROTHERS just opened it -- on the arthouse circuit -- and it BOMBED! Mr. Freed (whom we suspect isn't that smart a man) spent $20 million on it, so the toady says. Had he spent it on us we'd have lived comfortably for 400 years. Heck we could have taken the money and invested it ourselves and given him a nice rate of return; G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE's doubled in eleven months. We suppose though Mr. Freed's investors don't mind. They were dazzled by all the pulchritude.
P. P. S. to WALTER "THE SPYWARE COWBOY" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: Don't they pay you ten percent? They should.