Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, December 02, 2005

Posted 11:19 AM by Gene

We wonder if this business of THE CONSPIRACY chasing down CHRISSSSSTIANS wasn't based on a fluke. It was one thing when His Holiness Mel issued His SLASHER MOVIE -- it was NEW! and DIFFERENT! and ARAMAIC! People WANTED to be BLUDGEONED -- but only for a SECOND. Nearly every Jesus shtick since has fallen flat on its shekels; we suspect the CGI LEWIS story won't be an overflowing bank vault for ESPNCORP for the same reason. But show-biz is right to feel guilty; it flourished in no small measure as a refuge from religious persecution -- and it's been trashing religious sensibilities for decades. Perhaps the believing audience is just returning the favor.

By the way, we like that new name for an old pope: John Pail II. That bucket's got a hole in it.

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