Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, December 18, 2005

    Posted 12:03 PM by Gene

    Well, the fake numbers are trickling in: APE III allegedly will do $50 million for the weekend. That it was supposed to do $100 MEGAZILLION can't make THE CONSPIRACY too happy. Also that's not too much better than HUGH AND K-LO'S FAVORITE MOVIE ($31 MILLION) in its SECOND weekend -- and that's down over 50 PERCENT. Keep in mind PAUL DRECK TALLIES SUNDAYS, even though that @#$%&* DIMWIT may NOT have ESP.

    Total top-12 B. O., for all the huffing and puffing, appears to be up a somewhat pyrrhic twenty percent, and two-thirds came from TWO MOVIES -- and the next two weeks will likely be DOWN. AGAIN, we pay too much attention to these MORONIC NUMBERS, but movies are the center of the NEWS HACKS' UNIVERSE, and they're at the center of OURS.

    P. S. There's hugging in Fairfield tonight! Whoops! You didn't know? I didn't -- THE GAY COWBOYS IS A GOODTHING!

    HEY SPYWARE COWBOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You should demand TWENTY PERCENT from LITTLE JEFFY!

    Alas, even fifty percent of KERNGERSHWIN HAMMERSTEIN may NOT be a goodthing.

    P. P. S. Rosie's Nephew's latest tantrum up 23 venues, down 53 percent. Hey guy! Do you think maybe people don't like having their scabs picked?

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