Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, January 22, 2006

    Posted 8:52 AM by Gene

    Bert Parks sang last night, but not about Atlantic City.

    CMT officials kept expectations low: They said they would be happy if they got a million viewers to their network....

    TRANSLATION: 1. SUMNER's bifurcated empire's managing expectations, and 2. If we get a tenth of the audience, we should (by rights) get a tenth of the ad revenues, meaning the pageant's under new management soon, or out of business.

    P. S. How clever PR keeps CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES' expenses down -- by avoiding having to report anything:

    Miss America rolled the dice moving to Las Vegas, and the gamble paid off, according to organizers _ [SIC] for the pageant, its new network and the casino that played host. [Lead graf]

    The [contestants] also shared bathrooms, doubling up at the Aladdin hotel-casino to help keep expenses down. [SIXTEENTH graf]

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