Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Posted 2:54 PM by Gene

We see the great gray liquor-guzzling woman-nuzzling Alioto-bashing eminence from MASS had -- an encounter. And the product of this -- encounter has just acquired majority. We're not sure we like being privy to these lurid tales, especially tales reprinted in the National Enquirer; but with the Senator, you can't help it, especially when he gets on those moral bende -- crusades. Now a certain kind of knee-jerk liberal would not get exercised if this fatso committed -- well, if he did something for which he'd oppose the death penalty, and were America's head screwed on right people would demand his resignation for his cumulative affronts to the body politic (and other bodies); but most likely this force of TRUTH and RIGHT can run for re-election until they have to cart him onto the Senate floor in a cryonic chamber, or until his liver gives out, whichever comes first, and we don't expect it to.

Nor do we expect any news hacks to give this circulation, because the shoe is on the wrong foot.

(Via -- oh well -- the FREEPERS)

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