Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

This gag makes no sense. What's the purpose of a virtual store if people can find the same things at home on their computers? Indeed having a brick-and-mortar store with no goods would seem to combine the worst of the Web with the worst of conventional retailing. And what's the fun of shopping without the goods? Or returning them, for that matter?

And here's the rub:

The store coincides with the company's exclusive retail sponsorship of the Academy Awards.

Translation: We're doing this so our top executives can say, "I WAS AT THE OSCARS® AND YOU WEREN'T!" (Sorry for violating my rule.)

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