Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Friday, March 31, 2006

    Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

    Lately the A&P (whoops!! SUPER FRESH) where I shop has subjected its "customers" to the gargle of Regis Philbin selling Welch's Grape Juice. It is not soothing listening when you're standing for twenty minutes in the Express Line. Philbin has no discernible talent except mugging at a camera and surely hasn't had a bad thing happen to him his whole life. When will advertisers realize show-biz types should be the last to peddle their products because they inspire instant resentment over their undeserved luck?

    P. S. He followed another overpublicized idiot, Larry "SOFTBALL" King. How apt.

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