THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Why does his image suffer?
That's a toughie there, sons of SOB. Don't they pay you the big bucks not to pose such stupid questions? Or do you merely run a year-long popularity contest for SUPER BORE ads? Thankfully we seem to have come up with an answer: THE MAN. That light above our heads allows us to engage in our superiority complex when it comes to the readers, and flip out the R-CARD and engage in more race baiting. It would NEVER have anything to do with Barry CHEATING -- or the fact that, even with chartreuse skin covered with flower tattoos, and maybe a cute pig nose for a snout, he may NOT BE A NICE GUY.
And when Barry breaks* the home-run record*, we can be sure the sons of SOB will be there, cheering him on for the Gipper and the circ.
A NEUHARTHISM of the WEEK Award (social-justice division) to BOB! Nighty-night, Nightengale!