Posted 9:02 AM by Gene

Speaking of flacks, the ones who sell a GOLDEN AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT TECHNOLOGY have never used a computer. The other day, goaded by BUGMEISTER BILL's shining example, I decided to put page files on both hard drives to supercharge my machine. Just one problem: He suggested putting the second page file in a new partition. But the drive was already partitioned, and such is the BUGMEISTER's genius that you can't resize the drive without using His XP set-up disc. No problem; enter Setup, partition the drive, push F3, and voila! New partitions. Using the Home upgrade disc I bought for the Dell computer I broke I pushed F3, or thought I did, and BILL's crafty genius launched me into an unwanted XP installation. (My machine's preloaded with Pro, which as all the world knows is vastly superior.) After waiting a half hour I thought I'd delete it with the simple expedient of reformatting the disc, but wouldn't you know, BILL messed up some arcane file called HAL (!) that forced me into a dual-boot menu whenever I logged on, and suddenly the computer kept insisting that one of my hard drives wasn't on the BUGMEISTER's approved list and reinstalling it could have HAIR-TEARING CONSEQUENCES, and in so many words I couldn't repair the file without reloading the whole @#$%^& XP program. Fortunately after six hours (including an hour with CHKDSK) I discovered IBM's (Lenovo's?????) Rescue and Recovery does work. Now I see why it's so profitable for G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE to screw up Blogger. P. S. In the end the machine didn't go any faster.

Which got me to thinking this morning how much of our vaunted technology goes to waste. When you look at the BUGMEISTER'S XP screensaver you want to conquer worlds with a keyboard, but alas, it's as hopeless as a beautiful spring day, where the insuperable urge to be in five hundred places and kiss a thousand girls is dashed by reality and your idiocy. Most of us now have enough technology on our desks for CAD/CAM to send stupid electronic mash notes and download dirty pictures. Untold billions have gone into designing vast cellphone networks so people can install annoying ringtones and scream blue streaks at glorified wristwatches. It's no accident the computerized home-entertainment system has sat on store shelves like a blue screen in ME, but things like this will happen when you mate a typewriter with a television. It's hard to say where we'd be without our earth-shattering technology; it's easy to say where we are with it.

Next up on my system: a SATA drive in my floppy-drive slot! HA!