Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Monday, April 10, 2006

Posted 8:09 AM by Gene

We must admit Effete Edelstein isn't quite the ad-blurbist he used to be. There was something about running in Stale.com that gave his flatulence an -- immediacy. When he launched his adjectives of flowery puffery they hit you right between the eyes -- and elsewhere. Now that he's in print he's just another name above the titles. We are not being ironic, either, and suggesting that he's improved; an Effete Edelstein can't improve, except for the worse. That said he's still in the verities the same old Effete. Were this master of the rave to learn of a certain Sports Illustrated poll he would do a very good imitation of a steam locomotive through his ears, yet he is in that obtuse way of certain liberals so guileless that it would never occur to him that even more of movie ad-blurbists are alike. Possibly he thinks he is letting loose a wicked chuckle when he eructs like this, but somehow what always comes out is the very forced grin of somebody who thinks he's a good writer.

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