Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Posted 12:19 PM by Gene

Which leads us to speculate that when Lucy Van Pelt takes over MOONER will order an unappetizing mixture of THE TRUTH and PUFFERY, the latter to justify the former. There's already been much talk about her perky nature and the allegedly gorgeous legs she'll now have to hide under a desk; what better way to display them than by making her -- HUMAN? And what better way to make her human than by doing -- MARSHMALLOWS? And the huzzahs for ED's PR favor for THE GOLFING MACHINE appear not to have penetrated the VIACON news suite's thick skulls, meaning MOONER will air a LOT of unslugged ads like Melissa's. Nor would we be surprised if he does what he threatened to do before -- shoehorn the EDWARD R. MURROW of COMEDY in to goose up the ratings, only this time in earnest.

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