Posted 9:29 AM by Gene

The best way news hacks can cop out is by taking two sides to an issue. This is one of the greatest cliches of the business -- that we can cleave everything down the middle. But some stories have three sides, or fifteen, or one. Side splitting is a kind of forced neutrality, and we suspect it may also be invoked when the two sides engaged in the side splitting has big egos. And it undercuts both sides. "All of a sudden, revolutionary Iran has offered direct talks with the United States. All of a sudden, the usual suspects -- European commentators, American liberals, dissident CIA analysts, Madeleine Albright -- are urging the administration to take the bait." Does that include Dave? It must, because he wants us to talk. Does that make him a usual suspect or just another six-digit pundit?

We can especially expect intense side splitting when news hacks underreport a story. Can you recall ONE American correspondent interviewing Iran's president? How long has he been in office? Who do you suspect has earned more column inches -- him or THE ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY? Or the winner of RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S contest?

We saw the exact same thing with Osama, whom the hacks all but ignored in favor of now forgotten pleasures like Gary Condit's "mistress" until it literally blew up in our faces. And this guy's waving nukes.