THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Er, this is why people can't stand news hacks' gutlessness. Er, the whole point of advertising, JOSH, is to SELL things. Er, if they didn't teach you that when you started as a blurbist, you're not a true-blue TWXSTER. Er, you and your bosses decided after a mercifully long vacation from cover plugs to get back into the show-biz flackery biz. Er, the whole point of your AD is to get us to BUY this. Er, do you think we'd feel so monumentally insulted if it weren't? Er, that's why they pay you the big salary and the fabulous expense account. Er, so you answer your own question -- with a RIP-ROARING AFFIRMATIVE!!!!!
Er, a NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to JOSH and the, er, TWXSTERS!
Er, the next time we run into your mangy name -- and we hope it isn't soon -- we'll call you ER.