Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Friday, June 30, 2006


It appears the SUPE is another victim of PAUL DRECKISM (also known as Artificially and Intentionally Inflated Expectations Syndrome) and will become the latest overpromoted tentpole to do UMPTEEN GIGAMEGAZILLIONS in theory and a mere TENS OF MILLIONS in fact. The season now hinges on a THEME-PARK ATTRACTION, and we still predict the rest of the summer will be a washout. But remember: good news for BIGMEDIA is BAD news for EVERYONE ELSE.

We think we can point a finger at a possible culprit, too: its co-producer PEPSICO, which plastered SHAMELESS PLUGS for the tentpole on every bottle of its tooth-rotting carbonated corn-syrup juice, and no doubt increased sales. (To be sure it was also going up against the Coke Rewards promotion, which offers a far broader line of premiums and contests.) This was further a lunkheaded collaboration with MR. WARNER BROS. Terry! SYNERGY DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE. You'd be better off finding new dissidents to help jail in China.

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