Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

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Friday, June 30, 2006

Posted 10:11 AM by Gene

THIS IS ALMOST A PARODY: Some yutz at Daily Kos trots out every cliche and dark fantasy against conservatives and Republicans. Unfortunately, in his three-club-footed way some yutz has a point: a certain cadre of con-SER-va-tives (call them Buchanans, after -- one of our best presidents) has always thought the wrong side won the Civil War -- not that they would have backed slavery, necessarily, but there was a...romance about the Confederacy, with its plantations, and Gone With the Wind, and Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson and miscegenation and shacklin' and whippin'; and in the same breath of airless nostalgia these Buchanans blame Lincoln for inventing BIG GOVERNMENT. We would not begin to guess what would have happened had the South prevailed, except to say that con-SER-va-tism would probably not have been much different from the kind that condoned anti-Semitism.

And yes, we copied from Jo-NAH's words, but only because they're TIMELESS. Besides, Jo-NAH copied his hed from some yutz.

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