THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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U.N. diplomats hailing from countries where America is unpopular are more likely to ignore city parking tickets than those from places where this country is viewed favorably, a study shows.
Economists from Columbia University and the University of California at Berkeley examined thousands of parking tickets issued to the city's large diplomatic corps.
They found that diplomats from Egypt, Chad and Sudan have an increased tendency to laugh off tickets.
There is a simple solution: move the League of Nations to KHARTOUM.
In the meantime we should at least deduct the tickets from all the billions we give HOSNI the THUG.