Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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2/2/03 - 2/9/03

1/26/03 - 2/2/03

1/19/03 - 1/26/03

1/12/03 - 1/19/03

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, August 27, 2006

Posted 8:37 AM by Gene

Mr. Mark comes back from vacation -- and he puts this Pluto dust-up on the cover? Come on, Markie -- we want to be told want to think, and what to buy! We want to be told Democrats and show-biz are the root of all wisdom, and Republicans are the root of all evil! Whatsa matta, Markie? You publish on the wrong day of the week?

And the TWXSTERS aren't any better today -- they're navel-gazing about stars. Are we thinking of expanding our outreach?

Well one of the TWXSTERS got in the spirit -- he rootrootroots for Ms. Babs. We want a DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS!!!!! Can you help? Do birds fly?

(Certainly we help with this story: you'd almost have to guess Babs has a 3 lifetime rating from the ACU, and a 95 for 2005 from the ADA. I smell THE NEXT HENRY LUCE! [Pe-eeew!])

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