THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Precisely when the ad dispensations and tax subsidies do -- NEVER.
P. S. Already some hacks have poured the holy water on him: his father, "a Republican congressman at the time, later infuriated his party by sponsoring legislation to cut off funding for the Vietnam War." (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!) We don't hold it against the National Full-of-Money League's new commish, but we would note he mightn't have gotten his job if dad hadn't gotten his...and dad got his when Nelson "Middle Finger" Rockefeller appointed him -- after RFK's assassination.