THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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[H]e is expected to stay with Newsweek, possibly working on some broader strategic job....
Translation: they give him a cozy office and a fatter salary, and he attends meetings all day. Hardly different from his current job except he's not the editor of AMERICA'S NO. 1 -- 2 NEWSRAG.
Now we have to think of a nickname for his successor. We'll find one!
P. S. And sooner than we thought: his successor is one of REV. PETERS's boys, meaning he'll put the fire of the lef -- TRUTH into the rag! We're looking forward to your slant -- TAKE on the news!
I know -- Jonny the Boy Wonder!