Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Posted 9:47 AM by Gene

Why do people pay so much attention to Jonny Hairshirt? He's taken his schleppy little column and is running it in for a touchdown. It's not as if he's a good writer or has keen insight (neither, to be sure, applies); he's merely the Howie Hairshirt of the Web. We're surprised he hasn't been all over television. We suspect he's earning north of six digits. How do these no-talents do it?

By rights Money Honey should be a hero: she took a nothing job and through sheer PR has become one of the most overrated figures in all the media. You've chosen wisely, Jonny.

I guess I'm mad because I've been banging away for three and a half years in total oblivion, and all these loudmouths no different from yours truly get the rewards.

P. S. Well, if it's any consolation, there's a comedian by that name, so maybe Jonny Hairshirt has a while to go yet to total universe-straddling irritation.

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