THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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NEWT's former spokespoop writes an asinine column in which he gloats over the fact his Republicans have so thoroughly deked the Dems on the spending game (only of course he doesn't say that) they may stay in power FOREVER. Hey Fatso, if I recall correctly your ex-boss and his mouth THE PILLHEAD got you into power by complaining about how the Dems spent and spent and ran the Congress like a dictatorship -- and NOW YOU'RE DOING THE SAME THING. I should remind you, FATSO, if we had a principled opposition party, one strong on national defense and not off the deep end on social issues, you might occupy the same forlorn status as the Progressive Conservatives in Canada, who finished Brian Mulroney's tenure with TWO SEATS IN PARLIAMENT, and have yet to recover. Remember that the next time you boast.
[Link updated.]