Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Posted 1:26 PM by Gene

Can a city do without its daily newspapers? We in Philthydelphia may be about to find out. While the situation at StinkyInky Publishing Co. isn't yet approaching meltdown it can't be long before someone readies the picket signs. And alas, we know the answer to the question; the Web has all but rendered newspapering obsolete. We do not want to see newspapers die, and find it hard to believe they ever really will. But the news barons and their scribblers have brought this general mess on themselves by refusing to meet their customers even a quarter of the way and insisting not only that the peons take their castor oil, but that only their castor oil is good for you. The retarded readers, however, may be tired of constant gagging.

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