THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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We're increasingly of a mind that if we could zap every last tantrum-throwing partisan of either persuasion to another universe we'd all be better off. PILLHEAD breaks wind with his mouth. So liberals must respond by breaking wind with theirs. Every outrageous comment by one side must be answered by an equally outrageous remark by the other side. Both sides would believe the politics of their enemies constitutes a mental illness; both sides, if given the chance, would build them concentration camps. It is not enough these frauds must fill us with bile to our gills; they must turn the world into a sea of bile, from which we can never see high land.
P. S. Clever that ST. WARREN'S BOYS don't use the word. At what point does one synergistic division's dishonesty cease to be another's? You can't be synergistic and disclaim its "advantages."