THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Perhaps one reason the newspaper biz is in a funk is that we've learned to skim stories so fast we don't even read them. When The Paper of Re-CORD does a story on scanty Halloween costumes and "post-post-post feminism" we KNOW (or at least we think we know) what it will say -- mostly eyeball-rolling sugary whimsical BLAH (which would curdle into the essence of sulfur at the thought of any Nazi Christian Republican) -- and it isn't worth the trouble of getting yourself riled up just to further confirm your hunches, and to wonder if you'll someday have the whole news biz so well memorized you'll stop consuming its product altogether.
At least PINCH had the temerity to print include few good pictures, however.