Posted 5:59 PM by Gene

This story makes us wince too. We must confess Neil Simon is a glorified joke writer; that said he could write jokes, and hits. But the dubious honor of the Feds giving Mr. Simon this taxpayer-supported "Mark Twain" prize (we wonder what Samuel Langhorne would think) is an admission no one could do it better than Neil Simon (which does not sound so peachy as it seems), and there's no one down the pike who'll come close. In short, it's an admission our culture's running on fumes.

And to those who, like the clueless social climbers who organized this ceremony, think Mark Twain is FUNNY (well, he must be funny; he was a great writer -- wasn't he?), I say, read Volume 1 of the Library of America's anthology. Read "Concerning Gen. Grant's Intentions", or read "My Watch", or read "Political Economy" (the hilarious account of the fellow who installed hundreds of lightning rods on his house), or read "How I Edited an Agricultural Paper Once", or read "1601", and tell me if you still think he's funny. These are the sorts of morons who could be prompted to call Huck Finn racist -- and that is a masterpiece. Thankfully, by writing so many awful "humorous" pieces he acquired the reputation to do America proud.

For a man who gleefully named characters Spinal Meningitis, Snodgrass, or Huckleberry....

Yep, I believe we can definitively say, they don't GET IT.