Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, October 08, 2006

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

With this, the first issue with JonBoy as head of his newsrag, we repeat our suggestion: he should run covers on both sides, one upside down. That way he can tell two stories at once. First he can dance on the GOP's grave, second he can tell us how global warming is destroying the earth and we have to do all sorts of hopeless and destructive things to "save" it. They must have laughed in the luxury news suite last week; Mr. Mark (now safely ensconced upstairs) must have said to JonBoy, GIVE ME FIVE!!!!! before slinking into his office and locking the door.

P. S. Three decades ago the League of Nations and all its slaves said DDT was destroying the earth. We wonder how many front pages and covers that inspired. Now, with malaria out of control, even THE PAPER OF RE-CORD admits bringing it back is the right thing. We can trust news hacks on little they say, including definite and indefinite articles.

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