Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, November 04, 2006

Posted 4:26 PM by Gene

RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S comedian is fearless. All America's ad-blurbists say so. (Such courageous conformity!) We wonder how courageous someone is who's praised by a class that spends so much time hiding under its desks. We know this: Sacha is very bright, and he thinks publicity all the time. He'll never mock M-----ms.

Which reminds us: as RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s news net continues in free fall we should ultimately get -- this:

FOX News apologizes to (fill in the blank) for (fill in the blank). It was not our intent to make light of (fill in the blank)'s creed. Despite a few militants who would pervert it for their own purposes, Islam is a religion of peace. We further apologize to those who may have been offended by our reporting, and we promise never to do it again.

REMEMBER CHARLIE CHAN.

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