Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Thursday, November 30, 2006

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

We do not know why anyone would have even a passing interest in these bores. One time we would have gleaned all we could about the famous, and even tried to finagle our career so we could be their friend, and swell our ego in the glow of theirs; but aside from being the products of vast indestructible publicity machines and having little discernible talent except for making asses of themselves, these clowns converse in single-syllable words, half of which the news hacks call "unprintable", and but that the publicity machines get stronger every day we would be happy to pay them no mind, except they get so much in-our-face time.

We go one step further: They almost disprove THE MASTER's line about the chambermaid and the duchess because just by comparison these dopes make a chambermaid into a duchess.

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