THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Indeed AMERICA'S L -- you get the gag, is richer and fuller than we'd have guessed: the hacks' favorite historian Mike got another posthumous interview (we may be getting these by the truckload over the next few days), saying If Only was "a larger figure than you might have thought", conveniently forgetting "Jack and the Beanstalk", and that "historians will treat Ford kindly" because he was "bipartisan" -- which after the hacks get through with it is another @#$%&* code word for HE AGREED WITH US.
And now we have to wait until Friday because that fool "No, My First Name Ain't Casey, But I Run the Publishing Equivalent of the '62 Mets" Stengel moved his rag's closing date. Don't these clowns realize how we crave for our weekly dose of CW?