Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Posted 5:27 PM by Gene

Here's why the networks cut away from the marching bands during football games and fill in halftimes with their gassing heads: the bands play too much of Led Zeppelin and "Snakes on a Plane" and "more [and more and more and more] rock music." At best the arrangements are kitsch, and that assumes a best. (Though this is hardly a golden age of band music; college bands exist because professional college football and John Philip Sousa arrived together.) Maybe the old fight songs are hokey, but hell, Louis Elbel wrote "The Victors" in 1898, and the Wolverines still play it, because it's still pretty good, and they'll still play even when snakes are extinct.

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