Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, December 17, 2006

Posted 9:24 AM by Gene

It's double-issue time! Time to take two weeks off from you clowns! (Hooray!) Let's see -- who's on your covers? Let's start with Abe and Hitlery -- oh, if only we could always have to decide between two GREAT candidates, right Jonny "The Thinker" Alter? "[I]t's a safe bet that both would use their global star power to repair America's image abroad." Finally we get to apologize!

Elsewhere in the world, James Dickeyson tells us about France's Hillary, a Gandhi takes office in India (another?) and our former hero Daniel Ortega's "back." Except for the vast unappetizing heaping of CW we sure would like to know more about these people, JonBoy, instead of you running elections and telling us what to think. Why not, JonBoy?

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