Posted 6:07 PM by Gene

Nothing gratifies us more than when a highly expected movie comes apart at the seams, and Carl Hiaasen's discovery's is doing just that. We puzzle why; don't dumb blind teens make up the bulk of the popcorn-restaurant clientele? and aren't they "into" fantasy to the exclusion of everything else except godawful horror excretions? Okay, maybe the third in the line of SPIDER-MANS stretching to infinity will do its BILLION or TRILLION or whatever, but this is surely bad news for our superiors who think they can lure a crowd with their stupid CGI fantasies -- and bad news for the movie biz is good news for us.

Elsewhere the NEW! IMPROVED!! PAUL DRECK!!!!! is bathing his tonsils in Chloraseptic in preparation for the 10,000 phone calls he'll make boasting about how the biz CAME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But it appears it will have "come back" by about three to four percent, and all because of ONE TENTPOLE. Also, this year has seen five pieces of doodoo break $200 million, and sixteen do over $100 million, compared to EIGHT and NINETEEN in the ANNUS HORRIBILIS of 2005 -- and down a collective $700 MILLION PLUS. (In 2003 it was SIX and TWENTY-NINE; in 2004 it was SIX and TWENTY-FOUR.) PAUL DRECK will scream, "THERE WAS A BROADER LINE-UP!!!!!" Yeah, from A to B. Still, we smile.