THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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(Unbiased, nonpartisan overemphasis added)
And how's your POLITICAL PRISONER there, CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk!)? You know, the one who was merely doing his duty taking pictures, and whose motives are as pure as the driven snow? Say CURLEY, remember the time you said your business is run by CONSERVATIVES? And listen CURLEY, do you think if we had a dollar for all the times any ASSPressian has said he's UNBIASED we could possibly raise enough money to keep every last reporter who's been FIRED the last couple of years ON THE JOB?
Just a thought, CURLEY.