THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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The pageant was aired a combined 20 times on CMT, owned by Viacom Inc.’s MTV Networks, and its sister-network VH1, the network said. Although just 3.1 million viewers watched the show live — less than one-third the viewers she last found on ABC — a total of 36 million people saw the show including the replays. Even the traditionalists couldn’t argue with that exposure.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO KATHLEEN! And the ASSPRESS is now one of the FIVE FINALISTS (or however many) for NEUHARTHISM OF THE YEAR! We wanted Bernie Wayne to write a theme song but he wasn't available, so we'll choose something at random from YouTube.
(Via THE MESS, which DIDN'T run a byline)