Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, January 24, 2007

    Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

    Today is CURLEY's (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) day:

    Peter O'Toole has a hangover. And he's relishing it.

    If somebody says a politically incorrect thing the MORAL ARBITERS who are AMERICA'S NEWS HACKS unite in KLUMPH! KLUMPH! KLUMPHING unity to arrange for the closest thing to exile to Siberia. But when a fool actor who's just starred in a movie with an "'ick factor'" (the ASSPress admits it?) says he has a hangover, why, we want to win him THE ACADEMY AWARD®.

    And now that IVANA has joined in THAT @#$%&* FEUD we can say this: When a tree in an abandoned forest falls, it makes no sound -- unless it's picked up by 2,000 PARABOLIC MIKES.

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