THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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And on the subject of SLIME, we will confess we wouldn't have turned to this egregious press release for an ahthouse flick but for this photo, and honest we hardly know who this actress is, nor do we need any further proof THE CONSPIRACY is in a battle with the public that will end only with its certain absolute victory, and we do rather resent it that SLIME and Mort Zuck and Pinch and all that infernal gang waste so much of our time on press releases and other news we hardly need to know, but we still like the photo anyway.
We dare say this view is probably the only good thing about the wuhk, which will not stop the raves already in the hard drives. It sounds like the sort of lurid mellerdrammer that would have been laughed out of the houses in 1920, seasoned with a little of Dr. Evil's strychnine.
(Photo replaced 9/4/2010)