THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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"Dame Chocolate" follows the usual conventions of Latin melodrama. A father loses his daughter, moves to the U.S. from Mexico and starts a successful chocolate business. Years later and terminally ill, he is reunited with his poor, estranged daughter and heiress.
Derek Gordon, Clorox's VP-marketing, described the novela as "passion and romance and love of chocolate." Not to mention cleaning products.
Worked with script writers
Rodrigo Figueroa Reyes, Fire's president and executive creative director, worked with Telemundo's novela writers to help them identify where in the script it made sense to include four Clorox products: wipes, liquid bleach, Glad plastic bags and Pine-Sol.
"We have script approval," Mr. Gordon said, adding: "Our content fits very organically. We don't want to be disruptive."
In one Clorox moment, the heroine returns from Mexico carrying a Mayan flower crucial to the secret chocolate-making formula the bad guys are after. Only Glad plastic bags can preserve the flower's freshness.
This is the sort of thing S. J. Perelman foresaw in some of his tiresome New Yorker pieces. His estate should sue.