THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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TRANSLATION: Hacks are going to play this story so hard all weekend we'll wish they'd find another "ethics" "scandal" to masturbate over. I pray Lenny or any of our vaunted media superiors would please explain to us why public opinion polls (and précis thereof) are the wisdom of society, why polls are infallible, and why they so accurately predict societal trends. Okay, hacks may be happy now; we're going through a "liberal" phase. But history seems to happen in cycles; we had the ultra-capitalist presidents of the Gilded Age, and sixty years later we had FDR. But happy or sad over polls we can't look to them for confirmation of our right or wrong, but as mileposts that guess at the mileage. A society that places its faith in public-opinion polls, however "accurate", and that uses them to find its philosophical moorings, is a hollow one, and for that reason they've become the hack's crutch, a replacement for reporting, and observation, and wisdom.