Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, May 25, 2007

Posted 10:44 AM by Gene

Public figures' favorite activity (aside from making as much money as possible and shafting the public as much as possible) is eating fillet of sole. The Pope seems prone to this diet. He should know news hacks will especially jump on a pope because religion is a fiction and because their faces turn beet red and their heads swell to three times their normal size at the thought someone hates abortion, or may criticize M----ms. Our leaders love fillet of sole because most have so little sense, and while we believe the Pope has sense, we wonder if his advisers have it, or if he has reached the age where reason simply short-circuits itself -- or if quite possibly he isn't up to his job.

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