Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Sunday, June 24, 2007

    Posted 9:34 AM by Gene

    Has any rag ever managed to put out as many scribblers who sound as coyly cloyingly alike as The Paper of Re-CORD has? Today Chris puts his fist in the air for "rock" in musicals, conceding that it hasn't very often worked, and further conceding, "My immersion in contemporary rock and pop ended some time ago now...." So you're as much an old fogey as the expense accounters! Honest Chris, has anyone really cared what goes on the Branson East stage so long as we have bodies in the seats? Elsewhere Denny worships a porno -- an aht-house ac-TRESS (pardon us; ac-TOR, ac-TOR, always thus in the PINCHIAN precincts) whose oeuvre includes "storm[ing] a strip-club stage, pet Rottweiler in tow, and proceed[ing] to entwine tongues with the slobbering dog." Really, you couldn't make up The Paper of Re-CORD if you tried -- and PINCH has been trying since before JAYSON.

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