Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, June 15, 2007

Posted 8:41 AM by Gene

Jo-NAH thinks he can counter write-by-numbers hero worship with write-by-numbers con-SER-va-tive colyumning. Just as a TWXSTER (and how many Grunwalds are there there?) must adore men who will STOP global warming and fight trans fats, and whom we further love because they're Republicans just like us, so Jo-NAH must thrust and parry with, "The false advertising here is the never-ending story of elite journalism’s bias toward 'heroes' who expand government (which is why FDR remains the greatest hero in American history to so many Washington scribes)." We answer one non-thought with another. But then we first heard of Jo-NAH when a man who's probably entered a Mickey D's three times in his life wrote a gushing column about it, and he's had plenty of time since to practice his nonthink.

A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES!

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