THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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YESYESYESYESYES, B. O. is UPUPUPUPUP, but the fact remains for all this financial weightlifting supplemented with a huge dose of marketing steroids THE CONSPIRACY still is maybe one or two percent higher than last year in attendance at best, meaning it's still making crap for a minority taste.
And now comes the tidal wave of imbecilic heds like "Mmmm! GROSSES!" and "D'oooooooooooough!", which is the moral equivalent of the rationale behind HELICOPTER REPORTING.
P. S. at 3:20 p.m. Now somebody named GENTILE is PAUL DRECK's stooge! He must be cultivating the WHOLE ASSPRESS! And a NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD for leading off with "Woo Hoo!", the kind of moronic enthusiasm that would get him FIRED if he reported on SOMETHING ELSE.