Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, August 27, 2007

    Posted 6:09 PM by Gene

    "$4 billion." "$75 million." When the news hacks start speaking in numbers about their show-biz faves we really should grab at our wallets. The hack loves to boast of his numbers because he thinks they confer credibility to his favorites; just his very reporting of them makes them instantly credible. Remember Wacko Jacko's "billion-dollar" deal? Remember all the hundreds of millions Horace, er, Stein allegedly got from the DOG Star? If we could total all the billions who've allegedly watched the Olympics, the Super Bore, the World Cup and the Oscars® in all the press releases thereon and turn them into dollars we'd wallow in permanent billionairedom. But then if each such press release were a flight to a distant solar system we could send every news hack there.

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