THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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1. We mourn the divorce of a Texas couple who produced some of the greatest masterworks the movie industry has ever known -- why the wife won the first annual Texas Film Hall of Fame Ann Richards award, so we know what a tragedy this is;
2. We cheer the 25th anniversary of that @#$%&* movie that made DARK part of the film hack's and news hack's lexicon, and made a certain scribbler named DICK a part of college syllabi, and which the mentally-challenged typists must call a CLASSIC the way they call a certain loudmouthed obsessively-firing Six-Sigmaing CEO in Connecticut LEGENDARY (but even PINCH may be a little uncomfortable; His editors merely call it a "cult classic" -- we must fix that eventually);
3. No Your Lordship, most lesbians do NOT look like that.
Somebody has to teach His Highness Pinch the facts of life. Oh, His Father did. He with the most voting rights wins.