Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Posted 4:45 PM by Gene

The Deep-Thinking Hitler Expert Ron has evidently started a contest: Who can write "The Worst Celebrity Profile Ever"? This could be a non-stop contest with entries every day -- every hour from the Hearsties, SI, PEOPLE WARNER -- why they ought contribute a fund to finance weekly top prizes! We think D. Herbert Lipson, publisher of AMERICA'S SECOND MOST OVERRATED CITY RAG, should be one of the judges, at least. A further suggestion: they should be named THE BILL ZEHME MEMORIAL SUCK-UP PRIZES, for the greatest fanny kisser this side of LARRY KING.

As someone admittedly guilty of having done a few of these (as anyone who read my probing, incisive chat with Christina Aguilera in the April 2003 issue of Marie Claire can attest)....

Heck you deserve a prize too!

Here you think news hacks can't get any more self-servingly mea-culpaing exasperating and they prove you wrong.

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