Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, October 26, 2007

Posted 8:25 AM by Gene

There is no end to the loyalty SLIME's subordinates have for Him. We do not know why; He is not handsome (except in the mirror), nor very likeable, nor a deep thinker. We can only imagine His wage slaves think of Him as a Henry Luce, a visionary and thus an object of veneration; but then Henry Luce wasn't a very good man either, and more to the point, he didn't have SLIME's assets to be visionary with. So when Peter "reports" SLIME's social networking site's worth $65 BILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (current SLIMECORP market cap: $67.8 BILLION), we can only count it one more favor among the many favors His hacks have done for Him, for no apparent reason other than to remind SLIME they're alive.

(Via MediaBistro)

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