THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
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Brian? I'm an afisha, aficka, I'm a real fan of surfer music. Yep, that's one thing ya learn about a president, he's human. "Walk, Don't Run", ya know, da da da daaaaaaaa da da daaaaaaa da da daaaaaaaaa daaaaaaaaaa...of course people say I've been surfing too long without a helmet, or surfboard, or whatever ya surf with. Ya know Dana Rohrabacher?
Marty, Taxi Driver's one of the greatest movies of all time. It really is. Course I don't know that I've seen it but if Steve here says it's great then it must be. Right? Money talks, ya know. Course I've heard ya made some sort of anti-religious picture. Ya didn't? Well I'm glad to hear that; one thing we don't want in America, intolerance.
Steve? Loved those pratfalls you did on Saturday Night Live. Course that was before I really had respect, true respect for Gerry.
Diana? Ya know what my favorite, uh, rhythm, er, soul record is? "The Loco-Motion."
Mr. Fleisher? Nice meetin' ya! Don't know I'd ever heard of you before but -- wait a second, yes I have! You made those Popeye cartoons! No relation? You play the piano? With your left hand? That ought putya in the Guinness Book or somethin'. Ya know "Blueberry Hill"? Fats Domino did it. Love to see ya play that with your left hand.
We don't say Dubya would say such things; then again, we don't say he wouldn't.