THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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For that "one brief shining moment" we can believe Sen. Fatso Glub Glub was sincere. Make no mistake: as a public speaker he remains miles ahead of the competition, because of the Kennedy blood in his veins; but he has served long enough to know every trick in the book (which explains the talk of his considering retirement after he's dictated his memoirs because he doesn't want to be yoked to a walker and an IV on the Senate floor); he is too much the Kennedy to see beyond the past, and he is too much the cynic to believe there isn't a place in politics for demonizing. Make no mistake here too: after six months of President Oprah and all the loonies he'll place in every branch of government he may start complaining of demonizing on his own accord.