Posted 8:12 AM by Gene

We have not posted much recently as we're tired of getting no response from it, and partly under that influence we've run out of things to say. We opined once before our posts run to seven or eight categories, and we begin to suspect news stories in general can be summed up through seven or eight different archetypes, much like movies or plays. And some stories simply don't lend themselves to the snappy rejoinder, or even informed judgment; what can you say, for instance, about the huge fraud at the French bank, unless you were in on the crime? And then there are the stories beyond tiresome: people spout about Slick and his ex -- er, wife and their machinations as though it were news.

And then there's the Kurt Cobain of film. But at least this affords excuses for rolling the eyes. A dashingly handsome matinée idol? What drug were they on? And now Mort Zuck informs us that Kurt -- er, Heath may have killed himself because of the IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS of playing THE JOKER in the new BATMAN TENTPOLE. We have it from no less an expert than JACK, one of the GREATEST AC-TORS WHO EVER LIVED, that Heath signed a SUICIDE PACT. (Or something.) That the hacks can turn a TENTPOLE into KING LEAR shows their surfeit of idiocy is never surfeit enough. But just because our age stinks and our culture stinks do you have to type EVERYTHING in 72-point font to make up for it, Mort?

It's official: this story has reached the Presidential primary phase.